I'm ready to rejoin the fight

It's been a long time since I have written a blog.  I abandoned this site for awhile for a couple of reasons.  The biggest reason was that I simply needed a break.  When I reread my last blog entry I'm reminded of where I was at emotionally at the time.  I was at a point in treatment where I felt stuck.  I wasn't making improvements like I should and I was financially unable to access the treatment that I knew I needed.  Chelsea had become bedridden and completely stopped attending school.  We knew she needed either IV meds or IM injections but were unable to afford either.  Financially we were a mess.  It was the middle of winter and our bank accounts were at zero. All of this was happening, and online I just seemed to be reading post after post from other people with lyme who were not getting better and were unable to access treatment.   All of this, and the many stories of people losing their battles with lyme, I was feeling hopeless and knew that I needed to put my attention elsewhere.

One of the most import things I have learned on this journey is the importance of where your focus is.  If I am to get well I need to be paying attention to things that will pull me towards healing. I didn't want to ignore the suffering of others, but I need to take care of myself if I ever had a hope of being able to help others. So, I pulled back.  I stopped following alot of the lyme pages I use to follow on facebook.  I placed my attention on things that had nothing to do with lyme disease.  I didn't want to live as a sick person anymore.  So, my body remained sick, but my head became the head of someone who was healthy.  What I mean by that is, I set goals for myself.  Goals that had nothing to do with lyme disease.  Goals that I knew I would need to be well to achieve.

What I did pay a lot of attention to what my spiritual life, even more so then I already had been.  Over the course of the winter of 2015 things slowly improved.  More positives were happening for us then negatives.  Work became available to Scott, we were awarded grants to help pay for Jenna and Chelsea's treatments, and as the snow of 2015 finally started to melt, things continued to get better.

 For the first time, in a very long time, we felt things were finally going well for our family.  I won't blog about the details of last year, at least not today.  But, 2015 was by far, the best year Scott and I have ever had together.  Thank you to all of you who were a part of giving us so much hope.

And hows our health? Well, Scott is working six days a week and doing more physically then he has ever been able to do in the entire time I have known him.                                                                                              Jenna is slowly improving, we are in the middle of making some changes to her treatment plan, but just today she texted me all excited from the top of the Beehive in Acadia National Park! Yes, she climbed it!

Chelsea has attended school all year, done after school activities, maintained straight As and is currently slowly getting back into shape as she is a part of the spring track team!

Oh, and what about me?  Well I have learned some hard lessons about not over doing it, and am now slowly regaining my strength and increasing my endurance.  I will be blogging more about my healing journey as long as my brain functions well enough to allow me to do so.  I was ready to return to the lyme world and share my journey last fall, but unfortunately I had spent most of the winter unable to read or write well.

  We are all at a crossroads in treatment.  We are still fighting the tick born diseases, but now at the same time, are trying to repair the damage the diseases and the antibiotics to treat the diseases have done to our bodies. We are all attempting to transition to herbal treatment protocols.  Scott and Jenna are at that point now, and Chelsea and I are very close.

So, bottom line, I'm back in the saddle. I have gotten through the dark valley I was in and am now ready to not only become active in the lyme community again, but I have some pretty big ideas for my future professional aspirations as well. Don't worry, I'm pacing myself, but my eyes are way ahead of my body and I'm envisioning myself as a healthy person who is helping others.