When I was a kid, I had this overwhelming worry that something was seriously wrong with me. I often worried that I was dying of some unknown disease. It was like I had this sense that there was an illness growing in my body. Of course, I was always assured that wasn't the case.
I use to tell my mom about symptoms. After awhile, I felt silly always complaining and I just kept my physical complaints to myself.
I constantly had swollen lymph nodes.
I had urinary track issues that were unable to be explained.
I would have moments when my heart pounded in my chest, or I felt like I couldn't breathe, or it hurt to take a deep breath.
Sometimes I felt dizzy, or like I was going to faint.
The weirdest was when I had moments where I felt like I was moving in slow motion, or the opposite would happen where I felt like I was on fast forward.
These were all regular symptoms that I didn't talk much about. They went along with the knee pain, neck pain, headaches, double vision.....why wouldn't I think I was dying? Scary stuff for a kid.
Even as an adult, I have had this overwhelming impression that something was seriously wrong. I just knew there was a time bomb ticking away in my body that nobody could locate. I would be placated when doctor's would do blood work and tell me I was fine. Unfortunately, the fears would slowly creep back.
It was such a sense of validation to find out I was right all along. That feeling, deep down in my gut, was my body telling me something wasn't right.
I use to pass it off as crazy anxiety.
Now, I want you, the reader, to know it's OK to question your doctors. It's OK to push for answers. If you feel something isn't quite right, trust that gut instinct. Don't accept, "nothing's wrong" as the answer if you truly feel something IS wrong!
I can wish that I had figured it out years ago, but wishing doesn't change anything. What I WILL do, is to keep sharing my families experiences so that others can learn and maybe seek help before they get as sick as I am.
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