I have been contemplating blogging about the journey I'm now on, but wasn't sure if I should, if anyone cared, if it sounded like whining, do I really want to get that personal, do I start a third blog or use one of the two I already have........
There is a lot of time to think when you are stuck in bed. I have felt like my head is going to explode.
I am a doer. I do and do and do and do... you can only imagine how stir crazy I am at the moment.
This morning I realized part of why I am feeling like a nut job is because I am someone who needs to process out loud. The problem is, I have not had the energy or emotional strength to pick up the phone and talk to any of the many people who have offered to lend an ear. I'm getting there, but not quite yet. Also, talking about the situation I'm in is actually very difficult. One of my many symptoms involves my ability, or now inability, to take my thoughts and transform them into words. I have things I want to say, but struggle to do so. This, as you can imagine, leads to my frustration and also is simply exhausting. I am then left with the struggle of dealing with emotions without my usual coping skills. Not only that, but I typically think out loud when trying to evaluate information and make decisions.
So, this leads to my decision to blog about my new circumstances. If you are interested in my journey you can come here to follow up on how I am. Hopefully, for those of you who don't care to know my every thought you will be saved from me updating my Facebook status every two minutes. I NEED an outlet to get my thoughts out of my head or I am going to lose it!
I'm choosing to do this on my JUUVA blog because my struggles have to do with health and wellness. My JUUVA products have helped so much in alleviating my symptoms. I think I was heading quickly to where I'm at now last winter. My discovery of JUUVA slowed that process down. In fact, this summer my only troubling symptoms that JUUVA wasn't helping me with was my nerve issues. I was pain free and maintaining decent energy until July at which point I began to loose my gross motor abilities and by August lost the ability to walk unassisted. I recently stopped using the products because they were masking some symptoms. I am currently documenting my symptoms daily to get an over all picture of what's going on. I can't wait to start the Galaxy and Energy Water up again so I can show the change in how I feel. I am still using the emitter because I can't live with the headaches I would have if I didn't use it.
So, I guess I could keep writing, but I don't want to make this a novel. There is so much on my mind and I am missing my students and co-workers so much! On the days I have the energy I will pop in downstairs. I hope I can even teach a class once and awhile. I figure I can sit down and my super awesome trainee instructors can demonstrate the techniques for me! My husband isn't a huge fan of me doing that at the moment, he is the "don't let Holly over do it" police. As long as he has the support of my friend, student, and physical therapist, Miss. Casey, then I guess I will listen. I feel ok at times, but then find myself wiped out after doing simple household tasks. I will need a nap after writing this blog entry! Nothing wrong with setting a goal though!
Prayer Needs include:
Scott's strength as he is basically a one-man-show as he plays mom and dad, works his own two jobs along with 100% of the teaching duties in the studio.
Us financially as I am on disability and getting less money in my paycheck.
That I find the right doctors and have the money to pay for them!
That I get a diagnosis that I feel confident is correct, and of course that I get better!
I have to be honest, I don't want to get better until I REALLY know what is wrong and get treatment. I have had these symptoms for 20 years, it's time for answers. I don't want to 'manage' my symptoms any more, at least not until I understand why I have the symptoms that I am being forced to manage. Don't worry, once I'm satisfied in an answer I will be getting better, I'm to stubborn not to!
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